WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? PROBABLY NOT THIS.
I was in the ladies' room of a big-box home improvement store the other day. (You gotta love a story that starts out like that.) As I washed my hands, a woman came into the rest room and entered a stall. Her cell phone rang. She answered it and began conversing with the caller while sitting on the toilet. WTF? I absolutely can't think of a phone call that would be so important that it couldn't wait until after one's toileting business had been completed. And this was clearly not an emergency, life-or-death kind of call. This was chatting about where to eat dinner. The lady on the can and I were the only two people in the restroom. I walked into the stall next to hers and flushed the toilet. Twice.

31 DAYS . . .
. . . until jazz fantasy camp. This year I will be expected to be somewhat prepared. Suggestions for jazz standards you'd like to hear subjected to my vocal stylings will be welcomed.

YOU'RE AS BIG AS A HOUSE! ARE YOU EXPECTING TWINS?
I registered for baby gifts at Target yesterday. The computerized registration required me to enter a due date, so I entered 10/31, which is my brother's birthday.Then I took the scanner to the baby section, which was filled with crying babies. People stared. I think that's because yesterday, I didn't look pregnant. Also, there are some really expensive baby monitors and more types of bottle nipples than I could ever imagine. I have no idea what I'm doing.

ROOT BEER IS NOT MY FAVORITE KIND OF BEER
Did you know that they don't have root beer in Europe? Thus, last week we made root beer with a root beer-deprived Norwegian boy. Then we did a taste test of eight brands. Then we had root beer floats. Blech.