This week, the Mr. and I spent some quality time with two delightful friends at one of the "nicer" restaurants in the area. I don't frequent the hoity toity joints all that often, so answer me this question: Is it customary to have the server replace your utensil as soon as you've so much as licked it? Because our server was constantly giving us new flatware, and it was a bit much.
Desserts in fancy-type restaurants must be decadent. And at this place, decadent = one dessert stacked on top of another dessert. There was the chocolate mousse topped with a cappuccino mousse, the brownie filled with hot fudge and topped with cream cheese frosting (I chose this one because the last time I had a brownie filled with hot fudge, I thought to myself, "This is good and all, but what it could really use is another layer of sugar and fat."), and the vanilla bean cheesecake topped with red velvet cake. O.K., I just made that last one up. NO I DIDN'T. I would have liked to have ordered that cheesecake just for the ridiculousness of it, but I'm allergic to vanilla bean, and it didn't seem worth the two weeks of Prednisone-related bloated irritability.
THOUGHTS DURING ONE OF MY FINAL EXAMS
Desserts in fancy-type restaurants must be decadent. And at this place, decadent = one dessert stacked on top of another dessert. There was the chocolate mousse topped with a cappuccino mousse, the brownie filled with hot fudge and topped with cream cheese frosting (I chose this one because the last time I had a brownie filled with hot fudge, I thought to myself, "This is good and all, but what it could really use is another layer of sugar and fat."), and the vanilla bean cheesecake topped with red velvet cake. O.K., I just made that last one up. NO I DIDN'T. I would have liked to have ordered that cheesecake just for the ridiculousness of it, but I'm allergic to vanilla bean, and it didn't seem worth the two weeks of Prednisone-related bloated irritability.
THOUGHTS DURING ONE OF MY FINAL EXAMS
- There are 43 people in this room. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm the only one of those 43 people who has showered today.
- Why, yes, you may leave to get a drink of water, especially if it will prevent you from continuing to hack sputum all over that exam that I'll be touching later.
- Dude, you are, of course, welcome to take the full two hours allotted for the exam, but can't you speed things up a bit? I've had a lot of coffee this morning, and I really have to pee.
NO, I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT YOUR CURRENT GRADE IS
But guess what? You can calculate it yourself! It's easy! Just (1) add together the points you have in the class so far, and (b) divide that by the total number of points available in the class so far! TA DA! It's not rocket science! Hell, it barely qualifies as math.
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!
The time of year when I like to point out to people that "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is a date rape song. (Say, what's in this drink?)
WHAT TO DO WHEN STUDENTS HAND IN THE EXAM
(Click to enlarge)(Of course, it's much more complicated than this, but come on! I have to turn in grades tomorrow! I don't have time to make fancy flow charts just to entertain you people!)
YOU KNOW WHAT'S KIND OF FUN?
Instead of reading term papers, sing them in vocalese style, à la Lambert, Hendricks, & Ross. Thanks to Mr. Banality for the great tip!
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